Thoughts of the past and for the future

The year 2012 is coming to end and what a year it has been! I am hoping for a new year filled with good surprise and adventures.

We started 2012 out with intense marriage counseling. We left Cadence with my parents for a week while Josh and I were able to just do life together for a week in Muncie and start with marriage counseling. Unfortunately January and Febuary were filled with lots of hurts and tears, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel. We were able to visit NJ in March where we got to take Cadence to the ER for the second time that year. This was the beginning of us finding out that he has asthma and we were going to have some long months ahead of us. April began with finding out Josh's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Having to watch her go through surgeries and chemo from long distance was hard on all of us.

In May, Josh and I got to go to Northern Ireland for two weeks with the Campus House. This trip was amazing. The sites were breathtaking and the people were fantastic and the memories will last for a lifetime. The summer brought lots of traveling, something like 70 hours in the car, family time, retreats, etc. August came around and the life of campus ministry was in full swing once again.

This last semester was tough on us. Feeling tired and frustrated, we had started wondering if it was time to leave the CH and do another kind of ministry. We thought we were thinking a year or so ahead but in November, the Board made that decision for us by letting Josh go unexpectedly. Thus we ended our year in NJ with family for Christmas and a time to think and pray about our future.

So it's kind of funny to read all of this and people might just think we have had a very depressing year and yeah it has been a rough year of changes and frustrations, but really it has been a great year as well. Josh and I are doing great as a couple, it is refreshing to think about how i am truly married to my best friend. And since we are doing well on the marriage front, it's helping with our parenting as well.

April 30th brought me a niece, Leia!! In October, Michele was done with chemo and is on her way (with a couple other surgeries) to being fully cancer free. We are blessed with a little boy who makes us laugh every day. We have family and friends that have taken care of us and loved on us these last eights weeks and really the whole year.

So what about 2013? Yeah I have wondered that as well. We have no idea what that brings. A new ministry? A new house in a new state? A new family member (don't get excited, nothing yet!)? I have no idea, I would love all of that. Only God knows. I do know that we'll take it one day at a time, together.

Christmas through a toddlers eyes

Several weeks ago we had a wonderful friend surprise us with a Christmas tree and lights! This was a huge blessing for us and now every year when we put up this tree we will remember what amazing friends we have. The great thing was that we decorated it while Cadence was taking a nap. I got to teach Josh how to properly "fluff" a tree (thanks to my Hallmark years, I am pretty good at it... or just picky), and we got the lights and ornaments on them just in time for Cadence to wake up. Honestly we weren't planning on "surprising" Cadence, it just worked out this way. Let me just say this kid thought it was Christmas morning just walking out and seeing all the pretty lights. He pointed out all the colors and his favorite ornaments. Every morning he wants me to turn on the lights and has actually gotten in trouble several times for trying it himself!

I say this because I have watched Cadence over the last several weeks slowly realize that there is something special about Christmas. As a two year old he doesn't understand Baby Jesus but he also doesn't know about the presents or the hustle and bustle and stress the holidays can bring. We have made Christmas crafts, a countdown with daily activities and we have played with his Little People nativity.

I have been able to tell the Christmas story to Cadence most days this month or in some way talk about baby Jesus and I love it. I am getting the privilege and honor of introducing my Savior to my son. We have always prayed over him and even sung hymns at night, but I can slowly show him who God is from the beginning of his Son's life. I get to show that Christmas is not about lights, presents and food but instead the birth of a very special baby...JESUS! No he doesn't understand it yet but I know next year when he is older it may "click" and maybe he can tell me the Christmas story. And that thought brings joy to my heart.

Casey update

I had a nice long post written out about our last month...then I deleted it. I think it was beneficial for me to write it all out, have Josh read and then not post it. I will say in  a few sentences what our month has been and then I will move on to something else. Josh was terminated from his position at the Campus House on Nov 3rd and in my very own opinion, unfairly and not Christ like. It has been a month of anger, confusion, hurt and uncertainties. And through it all Josh and I are strong and eagerly awaiting a job opening ASAP! Keep us in your prayers as we figure out finances and what is next for our family.

I will post again in a few days! I shall share with you what God has taught me this last year and how it applies to our lives today...I know you are super excited!

A Child's Prayer

The innocence of a child surprises me sometimes. I don't always feel like we are doing enough for Cadence spiritually...yes I know he is two but still this is our responsibility. Well the other day I got to witness the most beautiful thing I have ever seen with Cadence. A prayer. A prayer he said on his own. A prayer with his own words.

Cadence "Momma I hungry."
Me- "I know sweetie we need to wait on Daddy to get home."
Cadence "Okay, I pray. Jesus. Thank you for Mommy, Daddy, Kellan, Megan, Bonnie, Cindy, Sarah, Holly, and Emi."
Me- "That was very sweet, what about the food?"
Cadence "Oh, thank you for food, blue monster, green monster, my train." Pause "Amen!"

Okay so I have no idea where the monsters come from but okay! But seriously this broke my heart. And I have been thinking about this all week. Trying to apply this to my life, especially my prayer life. As  adults we understand that we can request things from God with the knowledge that he will answer as it is His will. Something Cadence understands is just "Thanks you's" Do you see that in his prayer he only talked about what he likes, the people he loves and the understanding that we thank God at every meal and bedtime as a family.

My thought behind this is really how often do we just sit back and THANK God for all he has done. Forget doing a prayer that is a quick "thanks" with "here is what I need today." Life is tough. Life sucks sometimes. But really life with God should be thankful.  God is the creator of the whole world. He created me and you. He gets us through life. Don't you think he deserves a little appreciation...or a LOT!

Maybe this week you need to just spend time thanking God for all the big and small things in life. The trials he has carried you through along with life's accomplishments. Thank him for the people he has brought into your life. Your family. Thank him for your minister (it is Minister appreciation month!). Thank him for the  roof over your head and the car you drive. Thank him for the food you get to enjoy everyday and the bed you get to sleep in. Guys seriously we take everything in life for granted. God deserves all the thanks, appreciations and glory for it all.

The love of my life

I think it is about time to write about my husband. I will get the very obvious out first...he is HOT!! I mean seriously so adorable, cute, good looking all wrapped up in one person. My hubby has lost 30 plus pounds in the last year and well let me just say I am jealous of his new look. But I am also so very proud of him and all his efforts in becoming a regular early morning runner and cyclist.

Let me get to the "inner beauty" part about my husband. Joshua and I have been married for four years and it has been a rocky four years. We have had many home moves, trials, miscommunications, mistakes and pain. But in the last four months we have started over in a sense. I have learned a lot about my husband, misconceptions and things I never "got" about him. I have been able to truly see what a blessing he is in my life and Cadence's.

My husband is honest. He will tell you what he thinks with love. He is able to listen, process and give a well thought out answer. It may not be what you want to hear, but he truly tries not to overreact. My husband is super apologetic, I know that is weird but coming from  a person who has a hard time saying sorry this is big! Actually, he can say sorry so much you just want to tell him to shut-up! He will admit to fault or at least the idea that you were hurt.

My husband is trustworthy. This has taken time for me. But I can honestly say that my husband's words are legit, his actions are thoughtful. Trust is a big deal for us. We have had to both show in big ways why and how we can trust each other in all things. I know that I can say that my husband is always going to take care of Cadence and me. He isn't going anywhere. He doesn't break promises to others and works hard on what he has committed to.

My husband is funny. He has such a different kind of humor than me. He can make me laugh when I don't feel like it. He remembers inside jokes and brings them back to make me smile. He loves to sing and dance with Cadence. He has been kicked hard many times for trying to hold me down and tickle me. He has the funniest voices for people, that don't even make sense but he will use the same one for the same person every time! I love listening to him make Cadence laugh - music to my ears!

My husband is my rock. The phrase can be so corny sometimes, but over the last several months he has been. He allows me to cry, yell or say things I really shouldn't. He is a leader at work and at home. He makes thoughtful decisions. He has wisdom beyond his years and only wants what God wants for him and his family.

My husband is a daddy. Being parents has been an adventure - one we didn't think we could always handle! But Josh loves his little boy. He gets on the floor and plays with cars, he chases the monsters away and dances to the theme song of Phineas and Ferb. He sleeps on a couch while Cadence is in the hospital. He shows Cadence how to feed the dog. Josh is an amazing dad and I know Cadence would say "wuv you daddy!"

My husband is a man of God. Josh has had his times of question, doubts and wondering where God is. But he has always come to realize that God loves, cares and wants to be in his life. He seeks God's wisdom in making a decision or just day-to-day thoughts. He wants to grow in his relationship daily. He isn't perfect, but he has a good heart. He leads me to the cross regularly, willing to have conversations or to explain something I just don't get.

 People, I could keep going. I just know that these are my thoughts about Josh and I need to say them "out loud." He isn't perfect, he has made mistakes. But the love has never gone away, nor will it. I truly fall more in love with my husband every day. Thank you, sweetheart, for truly being mine for better or for worse, in good times and in bad, in sickness and health.

Lil Man

Yesterday was Cadence's 2nd Birthday! I just wanted to tell you a little bit about me little man! Two years ago today Cadence graced us with his presence after 15 hours of labor. The first thing out of my mouth was "Does he have hair?" Luckily he had enough to satisfy my desire for a non-bald baby. Our family was all there anxiously awaiting their first sighting of the first grand baby for both sides. After two very long, tiring and constantly interrupted days in the hospital we were able to take Cadence Michael home.

Cadence at 8 weeks old

Cadence 1 year

Now Cadence was not the easiest baby. We went through months, 11 of them to be exact, before we got an entire night of sleep. He was fussy and rarely took a nap longer then a hour. But still he is our first baby, our guinea pig, the apple of our eye! Cadence decided to wait and not crawl till he was 8 months old but then six weeks later he was taking steps on his own. By his first birthday he was a runner, this momma wasn't ready for that one.

Cadence 2 years old

Cadence 18 months

 He has beaten his mom and dad on hospital visits. Within two months he had stitches, pneumonia and bronchitis all in which we had to go into the ER to have checked out! Cadence is all boy!! He loves the outside, dirt and cars. But he does like the occasional baby doll as well, which mommy finds adorable and daddy not so much! He loves apple juice, goldfish and fruit snacks. He is little in size but gives the biggest hugs and most precious kisses. He is energetic and never stops running unless Larry Boy is on. He is our little man! We love you Cadence and I hope and pray you have many wonderful Birthday's ahead of you

Life in Campus MInistry

Emily and Bonnie

I am going to attempt to tell you about Campus Ministry in one post! And I am going to start at the beginning for us. Back in May of '09 Josh and I drove up to Muncie, IN for an interview. Mind you this job never crossed our minds until a professor at Ozark started talking about this position. Josh just thought he would work in a church since, well, that is what he is trained to do. So anyways we had the interview, dinner with some students and a meeting with Mark all in a 24 hour time. By the time we left for Joplin (home at the time), Josh had a job and we were moving in a month!
Now through the interview and talks with students I was realizing that Campus Ministry is very different than working in a church. It was going to require 60+ hour work weeks from Josh, we were going to only have people in our church for four years (except those students that just love us so much they make it five!) and I was told we are not a package deal so I could do as little or as much as I wanted. Since I want to see my husband I went with the "MUCH" part!

My first accountability group, they are all mostly graduated

Honestly it has taken us three years to figure out how to make a family work in ministry. I know that seems like forever but we really had to figure out the groove of things and how to say "NO." In those three years I have had a job, we added Cadence and now I stay home with him. Josh has had to learn to say no to staying out late and I have had to be willing to go up to the Campus House to have lunch or just hang out with Josh for a little bit. We have had to balance family time and student time. And also there is always this shock of having Josh around all summer and then home in the fall only to eat and sleep!  So finally, I think we did it. Now don't get me wrong it is still an adjustment, but one we are both willing to work on it.

The N. Ireland Team May 2012

Let me tell you a little of what we do at the Campus House.  Josh got hired to run the Worship and Men's ministry part at the Campus House. That is working with the praise team (remember, that changes every year!), retreats, bible study, occasional preaching, always planning Sunday mornings, Men's activities, discipleship groups, tech support and of course whatever else that may go on during the week (service projects, international student meals, etc). Honestly that is just naming a few. My man is a man of many talents so he is just well...excellent at his job!
Since I have chosen to be involved in the Campus House, I help as well. I have two accountability groups, one student I meet with one-on-one and all the regular women's and worship team activities. And I enjoy all of it!! Being in a college ministry is so different then we ever thought. But I can't imagine us doing anything else. We have grown to LOVE the ministry and the students. A lot of our students come from a Christian homes so there isn't a ton of evangelizing with them, but we are given many opportunities to serve the campus and community.

Holly in Ireland!

I think one of the biggest things we tend to see with the students (I need another name for them!) is that for the first time they are away from parents and it is time for them to choose their faith and how they want to live it. They are becoming adults and have real life situations they have to figure out on their own and along with that comes their belief in God. They can choose to not go to church, grow their faith or even be a good influence on others while at school. We get to help guide them, but still allow them to make those decisions on their own. Along with growing up in the church though, a lot of them still have made decisions they regret, parent issues and really just reality finally hitting them. They still have to learn how to forgive, forget and move on in life. They still have to be shown God loves them no matter what friends or family tell them. That God has grace, forgiveness and unconditional love they just have to choose it.

Guys this is seriously a very small part of what we do (mostly Josh!). I am not going to go into the mission trips, retreats and daily conversations we have had over the last three years. I can just tell you that we love this ministry and it is needed on every secular campus in the world. There are prayers needed, finances needed (we are a support-based ministry) and just love for these students needed!

Couponing is My Job Part 2

 I know you guys are just super curious about all my "amazing" tricks on saving at the grocery store, right?

RIGHT!? Anyway....

Well I am here today to share a few basic ideas and try to show you how it works.

First off, I want to show you my stock-pile. I want to prove to you that I am not a hoarder,  but that I buy things my family needs and then donate the rest to a local charity Josh and I support. The top picture is my personal hygiene items. It is one shelf in my hall and I didn't pay more then $1 for any of it...most of it was free! (CVS is my secret for those items!) The bottom picture is a small portion of my canned goods. I know you are thinking seriously who needs that many canned tomatoes! We actually use all of it pretty quickly. I have to use 2 cans for every single batch of salsa and four when students are around for a double. I also paid 20¢ a piece for those, while retail is $1.20. The green beans were all 20¢ a piece as well. The BBQ sauce was all free and I will not be buying any for a year or more. So my point is you should have a fully-stocked, well organized area for food and hygiene products, but don't go overboard.

So lets get started on some tips. First, buy a newspaper every week! This is where you will get coupons for both Proctor & Gamble and General Mills products. Second, print coupons online @ coupons.com, smartsource.com, and redplum.com. These sites all have great everyday coupons. Lastly, look over the ads and decide a game plan. DO NOT go to every store, you'll end up using more gas than coupons! Pick the one with the best deals – one grocery store and one drug store is  a great beginning.

I will start with the "CVS" game. They do this great program called ECB (Extra Care Bucks) Where you get "money" back to use on another transaction. For example this week they have Oral-B toothbrush for 5.99 with $2 ECB. If you use the $1 off coupon in this week's paper, you will pay $4.99 for the toothbrush and receive $2 ECB to use another time. So it is like paying $2.99 for a battery-operated toothbrush! Now what I would do with that $2 ECB would be to buy the mouthwash that is on sale for $4.99 and receive $1 ECB. After a coupon, plus $2 ECB, you will pay $1.99 OOP receive $1 ECB for the future... so it is like paying 99¢ for Crest mouth wash! Yeah I know that this is confusing but really the concept is to roll your ECB to the next week. Like all true couponing, you have to be able to see this ECB program as money... free money! Everything in my hygiene shelf above is from CVS, so trust me it is worth trying to play the game.

Second place is Target. I love this place! You can go to target.com  and print off coupons directly. You can then use a printed Target coupon with a manufacturer coupon on 1 item! Plus, they also have the Target Debit Card, that is connected directly to your checking account – every time you use it, you will receive 5% off your total purchase. Plus free shipping at all times online!

My last big thought is PLEASE do not stress about this! Pick the stores you are comfortable with or shop already. Start small. For example, start by shopping the sales. If coupons just aren't your thing, you can at least buy the items that have a good sale price. If milk is on sale this week it won't be on sale next week at the same store, which means buy two gallons while it is on sale. A lot of times when chicken is on sale ($1.99 lb) I will buy a month's worth of chicken. You can save money for your family and not have to buy all the off brands!

Any questions on the methods? Any thoughts on how to improve my strategy? Let me know if you want more tips on these areas.

Couponing is my Job! Part 1

Josh asked me the other day if I thought coupon-ing was my job. He thought maybe it was a hobby, something I would just do for a little bit. I sat there for a few seconds to think about the question. I had always teased about it, made jokes but I was also very serious about it. I answered "Yes. Yes it my job!"

I owe my mom a huge THANKS! I grew up with a mom who didn't leave the house without her little coupon envelope. A mom who shopped only the sales.  Even in college I bought a newspaper for the coupons and shopped with an ad. I was taught what a good bargain was and when to just window shop! But 18 months ago I got hooked on a blog happyhomemakercindy.com where a single mom posted all the local grocery store match-ups and had a coupon database (where you can search for any coupon and print straight from the database). I attended her class and realized there was a lot more I could be doing for my family and not only that but I could be donating products to charities!

Going back to Josh's question "Do you really think couponing is your job?" I had a two part answer.  I enjoy getting free stuff and donating, plus showing other people (like my sister) how to get a really good deals (50% off or more). Honestly it saddens me when I have friends who should really be using coupons but say they don't have the time. I spend 45 minutes a week clipping coupons! That should no longer be anyone's excuse!

Coupons are money to me. They are not "just a coupon." Also, I know they might not be valuable to just me so  I give people coupons all the time. I even donate my expired ones to a military family since they can use them for 6 months after the expiration date on their base. Yes I have even given a stranger a couple coupons for items in her cart. I am not saying all this brag on myself, to me it is common sense!

Now I will confess that I have had to just start giving away coupons just so I won't use them. I am fully (a year's worth) stocked on several items in my house, or I just don't have the space for it. I had noticed the last couple of months I had been buying things we just didn't need at the time, but it was $1 or less! I actually went through my closet space that is for hygiene products and pulled out 6 or 7 items to give to people because I just didn't need it. I am not a hoarder, nor will I ever be one!

Maybe you are asking how do you do it? Of course you have all the time in the world you are a stay at home mom...haha righhhht! Or maybe you only like specific brands. Or have picky kids. Or you just buy the off brand because its cheaper...wrong!! I can help with all that in another post. I will give several helpful tips. I will show you how to play the CVS game. I will also show you my stock pile and tell you what I pay for it.

So yes I am a stay at mom, wife, minister and a couponista!

My hated mommy phrase

I sit here and watch my son play on a slide and realize that I have a toddler,he no longer is a baby. He still loves to cuddle and give mommy kisses but for the most part he is a little boy. He feeds himself, talks in full sentences and lets me know when he is happy or mad! As a mom I obviously know that my child is getting older not younger. My child also has an attitude, screams himself to sleep and eats only when he wants to eat. These are things that he hasn't always done. Things that come and go.

That leads to my most hated phrase as a mom. The phrase that when it is said to me I want roll my eyes and yell "DUH," the phrase that is obnoxious, the phrase that I would guess most moms at least dislike if not hate. You ready to hear the phrase? Now this does not give you permission to annoyingly say this to me. If you can agree to that then I shall share this awful, hated phrase of mine.

"This is just a phase, embrace it because before you know it they will be all grown up!"

Blah! DUH! Dear Lord I hope I never say this to another mom! Of course I know they just get older that's life. And yes its a phase, but I am not a fan of this phase. My child screams bloody murder when you leave him in his crib to go to sleep (no literally the scream could shatter glass). He is almost two and still wants to be rocked, book read to him and you might as well sing a song while you are there! My child is a super picky eater (might be a little of my fault). I can make him a nice lunch because he says he is hungry then he decides he is not hungry and then when he is again he doesn't want that food. Grrr!! Oh and don't even get me started on the fit throwing, hitting, fake crying or screaming. Yes of course this a phase if we were like this as adults no one would like us. We grow out of it. We mature (well most). We learn what is right and wrong. We realize what "normal" society is.

So thank you to all who have said this. Thank you for reminding me that is a phase. Thank you fro reminding me that they do grow up. But mostly thank you for not helping the situation at all! ;)

Greatest Regret and Greatest Gift

Lets start big! I have regrets! Yep mistakes of things I have said or done. But I think I have one really  big regret. Something that has a wonderful and beautiful ending, as well as being something I have promised I would never do again.

When we moved to Muncie three years ago I thought maybe we should have a baby. Why not? Josh had a steady job, insurance and well, that's the next step right? Now I didn't go off the pill and not tell Josh or something, that's well... mean to your husband. But what I did do was talk about a baby a lot, and then for good measure talked some more. I talked about how much I wanted to be a mom and mention how wonderful Josh would be as a dad. I tried to make Josh see that this was the next step in our life. I begged. I pleaded.

In the moment did I see that Josh just wasn't ready for that next step? Maybe a little. Did I notice that I was pushing, begging, pleading? Yeah some. Did I stop? Nope.

Now, I say all this and you're maybe asking what's so wrong? Well, we had just moved 11 hours from any family, we had only been married a little over a year and he just accepted his first real job. There were lots of changes, arguments and tears. But  I honestly thought a baby would help on the big life changes we were having . Haha, like a baby isn't a life change!

Josh finally agreed and five months later I was pregnant! Nine months later Cadence Michael was born.This beautiful blue eyed baby changed our lives in a crazy and unexpected way (more on that later).

About six months ago I went to Josh and apologized for pushing him (I think I surprised him) I always knew that I pushed to hard for this and also knew that it was unfair to Josh. After saying sorry I also promised him that I would never do it again. I want him to be excited about adding to our family. I also told him I will tell him when I am thinking about another baby, but that I will need the thumbs up from him. I love my husband too much to make that mistake again.

Please understand that this regret had a wonderful outcome. The regret is not Cadence but the way I went about it.Having a baby was an amazing, awe-filled moment for us. To just see another part of our awesome God and the tiniest details he has created. God does give us things we don't think we can handle but if we lean on Him we can get a grasp on it.

This is my greatest regret with the greatest gift!

Thoughts from a non-writer

 Here I am attempting a blog, A blog with no one specific theme, No one continuous thought, feeling or emotion. Just me. A woman. A wife. A mom. My thoughts on life. My trials, my regrets, and a few funny moments with a toddler. My moments when I get reminded of how much God loves me.

I have read many blogs about a lot of things. Saving money, educating and raising children, stuff Christians like (the actual blog and others like it), making a home ...and blogs just about life. So why not a blog about all that – the Hodge Podge my life is?

Things hated or loved. Marriage, raising kids. Mistakes and Triumphs. Yeah that's my blog.

Welcome to My Hodge Podge Life. The blog that will be proof read by my husband because I hate all the "proper" grammar stuff. A blog with a wide range of topics. A blog to make you laugh, cry or say "Amen!" I will be blunt, honest and opinionated (because that's who I am!).

Just a blog about my life,  Mikala Casey!