A life with Grace

 I have been thinking about my story, my journey in life. I have thought a lot about my marriage and the trials. I have thought a lot about telling my story, but just wonder if it is because I just want people to know or does God? My story is long. A story with heartache, disappointment but even more grace and redemption. Throughout those thoughts I have decided it is not time to share my story yet – don't worry it isn't because I'm chicken but because God has good and perfect timing. However, one thing I can talk about is one particular road I've been down... one road I've traveled a lot these last two years, and that is through my understanding of the definition of Grace.

As a good Christian girl I always knew about God's grace and that I should have grace, but did I truly know what Grace looks like? Do any of us know what Grace is capable of? Do we understand how all God's children are capable of giving grace to those who have hurt us? Do we understand how undeserving of it we are? This girl sure didn't.

The first time I truly heard about Grace was through a wonderful friend. She taught me what grace can look like. To be able to forgive angry exes – to forgive herself in her mistakes. To be able to tell her story firmly, strongly. A story filled with Grace.

If you read through the Old Testament you see God give Grace over and over again. Adam and Eve and the great fall. There were consequences for their sin, but he still loved them through it. He didn't abandon them. Isaac and stealing Esau's birthright. really stupid move but God did big things with him. David...yeah don't get me started on that one. Then we move into the New Testament and before Jesus died he told a disciple he would deny him three times, but he brought him back in later. And ultimately that day Christ was the gift of Grace. The gift that people of his day could touch, talk to and listen to. He died to forgive all human kind, all we have to do is accept His grace.

Those are a few stories from the Bible about Grace, but how come we can't show grace to those who hurt us, say stupid things, or make bad life choices. Why can't we show Grace to those who are just different then us, those who don't have the same theology as us?

"Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given" (John 1:16). Seriously God wants to give a double dose of Grace. Humanity messed up and then he sent His son to cover those sins with yet some more Grace. Mind blowing and life changing. 

Grace is hard, it sucks sometimes. Grace is forgiving. Grace is trusting. Grace is saying you are sorry. Grace is being Christ-like. Grace is loving the unloveable. 

I have a long quote that sums up Grace for me really well. It's from P. Tripp and the Campus House used it a lot previously, but brought it out again for today's message. This is going to be in our bedroom somewhere for me to see at all times. To remember that I have a story, a God story.

"Grace is a story and grace is a gift… It is God's character and your only hope. Grace is beautiful theology and a wonderful invitation. Grace is a lifelong experience and a life-changing calling. Graceful will turn your life upside down while giving you a rest that you have never known. Grace will require you to face your unworthiness without ever making  you feel unloved… it will make you finally acknowledge that you can never earn God's favor… It will once and for all remove your fear of not measuring up to his standards. Grace will humble you with the fact that you were much less than you thought you were, even as it assures you that you can be far more than you ever imagine. You can be sure that Grace will put you in your place without ever putting you down. Grace will enable you to face shocking truth about yourself that you have hesitated to consider, while freeing you from being self-consciously introspective. Grace will confront you with profound weaknesses and at the same time present you with new-found strength.  Grace will tell you again and again what you are not, while opening you again and again to what you can now be. Grace will make you as uncomfortable as you ever been, while offering you more lasting comforting you ever known. Grace will work to drive you to the end of yourself, while it invites you to a fresh start and fresh beginning. Grace will dash your ill-founded hopes, but will never walk away and leave you hopeless. Grace will decimate your own little kingdom of one, as introduces you too much, much better king. Grace will expose you to the extent of your blindness, as he gives your eyes what they desperately need to see. Grace will make you sadder than you have ever been, while at the same time giving you greater cause for celebration than you have ever known."

Sacred Marriage

When Josh and I were in marriage counseling we were asked to read a book called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. I read this book and LOVED it. Now mind you that was at least six years ago. But through the years we have recommended it to friends and family and I don't think anyone has taken us up on that. So I am hear six years later reading it again and I am telling you all that are engaged or been married for 25 plus years please read this book!

My poor friend Cailyn has heard me talk and talk about this book for the last month as I have been re-reading it. Every week Cailyn, Ashlen and I get together at DQ to just catch up and I think this book comes up every week for me on "What have I learned about God this week?" Guys seriously you have to read this!

Ok so here is what the book is about! "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" Yeah sit on that thought for a minute! The book really talks about how marriage is a selfless act. That we shouldn't consider marriage because we want to be happy but instead to be able to serve. He talks about marriages that have rocky spots and very rocky spots and how leaning on God and his love can show you more about yourself and your marriage then you can do on your own. here are a couple quotes from his book that pretty much made me cry! Really because I have been there and I truly wish I had re-read this book a couple years ago.

"Tell your (marital) story. Tell it to your kids, your friends, your brothers and sisters, but especially to each other. The more your story is implanted in your brain, the more it serves as a hedge against the myriad forces that seek to destroy your marriage. Make your story so familiar that is becomes part of the fabric of your being. It should become a legend that is shared through the generations as you grow a family tree and defies all odds and boasts marriage after marriage of stability and longevity."

"Every marriage has sorrows. There isn't a shared bedroom in this country where tension doesn't occasionally or perhaps frequently lift its snarling head. Many a pillow has been a solemn receptacle for soul felt tears, cried late at night or even all throughout the day. We don't get to choose which sorrows or trials we are called to bear, only that we must endure them."

"The challenge is not to keep on loving the person we thought we were marrying, but to love the person we marry."

"But true forgiveness is a process, not an event. It is rarely the case that we are able to forgive "one time" and the matter is settled. Far more often, we must relinquish our bitterness a dozen times or more, continually choosing to release the offender from our judgement."

I could keep going but then you should just read it for yourselves. I hope you get a chance to  look it over, he has several other books that i Intend to read this next year. 

"Forgiveness was something I could walk into." " Forgiveness doesn't imply or confer trust and it doesn't remove the pain." (it teaches obedience)

I could keep going but instead you should read the book! He has several other books that I intend to read this year. Enjoy