Stress

Have you ever really thought about what triggers stress for you? Or how stress affects your mind or body? Well I sure haven't... until the last couple weeks. My stress level these days is dramatically lower then it was nine months ago but I hadn't really really thought about how to control stress in my life and how it affects me. I figured that I handled stress just fine.

My stress was due to a rocky season in our marriage, job loss, unemployment, job searching, moving, and frustration with not being able to get pregnant. ... all at once. Compounded with a desire to care for people around me and I stopped paying attention to myself. By the end I kind of physically fell apart.

When we moved I was finally able to stop long enough to realize I was having some physical issues that needed to be addressed. There were signs a few months prior, but honestly with packing and moving I didn't really think anything of them. Physically, I was EXHAUSTED! I was taking 2-3 hour naps daily. My vision was blurry and I really noticed my weight gain. I had officially stressed my body out, and because my stress levels were gradually going down I was taking time to notice my body and all the weird things it was doing.

So last week I started reading a book my mom gave me on balancing your blood sugar which in the long run will help with energy, weight loss and hopefully taking inches from my waist. But honestly what I really hope for is to just feel beautiful again. To not avoid mirrors or the scale. To keep up with Cadence. And just maybe this is what my body needs to get pregnant. 

I am not a dieter. Never have been. I am not going all crazy with this book: literally reading a little at time and changing one meal at time (I eat six times a day with this new lifestyle). I am exercising again and trying new foods. I have my good days and I have my bad days. I eat at home more (unless of course my in-laws come in town!) and I am looking at new recipes. I have lost four pounds in the two weeks – a small step that I am excited about. I am seeing a little more energy and feel a little less shakiness between meals. Also, I am sleeping better (finally!).

It's crazy what stress can do to you. I got through the last year with God, my husband, my family, and my friends.
Now though, I need to take care of me. One day at a time.