Waiting

I have been waiting. Waiting for a very long year to be over. Waiting for my marriage to heal. Waiting for a job, a new home. Waiting for forgiveness, grace and redemption. Waiting for anger and bitterness to no longer be part of me. I have been waiting for the sun to come and stay, for winter to be over. I have even been waiting for my tulips to bloom. You would think by this time I would be the master at the waiting game, or if anything I would be a patient person. Instead I am just tired.

A friend sent me a text this other day from Romans 8:22-28:
All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.
 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
  
Now to be honest I read it then went on with my day. Later that I night I realized I never replied to the text.  I read it again and then again. I thought it was a weird verse at first glance then one little part in the middle stuck out. " That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant woman." 

I am waiting -- waiting for a small light at the end of the tunnel. I was waiting for my tulips to bloom and yesterday they did. During our 30 degree weather with rain and sleet, the pink, red and yellow peeked out. Now I don't have to wait for the little things because I do know deep down that there are things all around me in bloom. I just have to be more thankful for the small things while waiting in life. Haha such a cliche thing to say. But right now that is what gets me up in the morning. That is what gives me hope. That is what gets me excited about change. 
 

Casey Update

I thought it was time for a nice update on our lives. I wish I had nothing to say, but instead I have a ton!

In December Josh started talking to a church plant in Columbus. After several emails and a Skype interview with the lead pastor, they asked us to come meet them and their growing church. Josh and I were able to go by ourselves, we thought this way we had one less distraction.  We had a great weekend seeing downtown Columbus, OSU campus, and meeting several families involved in this plant, which is about a year old. On the drive home Josh and I talked about the whole weekend. I was all for it and Josh was... mostly there. When Monday came around we were prepared to tentatively say yes, but the voice on the phone gave a "No." Let's just say I was not happy. I was silent the rest of the night.

We thought we nailed this job. They weren't looking at anyone else. They made it obvious that they liked us. But instead we got a "no" and "we really think you need a ministry with more stability" and an underlying "you still have some bitterness to work on". Of course we have bitterness, did you think it would go away over night?! Stability in ministry, what is that?? I was ticked. And to top it off Josh told me he wasn't real comfortable with the job anyways, but was willing to take it for my sake since I didn't like our other options. Yeah that didn't make me feel better.  After several days to think, pray, and reflect about the weekend and our conversation as a couple we realized that we mostly wanted the job to escape from Muncie. It was an easy out and we saw that.

Unfortunately things didn't get any better. We were back at square one. We had no real plan and Josh needed to get a job in Muncie ASAP, which he did. He is currently subbing for three different school districts and, while this is not his dream job he has especially enjoyed subbing for the elementary music classes. We are hoping things pick up with that and I start a regular babysitting job next week. We are just hoping to pay the bills!

So with coming back to square 1, Josh took about a week to get back on the horse and look for a ministry job, which now leaves with two possible roads: ne is going to Emmanuel Christian Seminary and Josh getting his Masters, or to get back into campus ministry.  Which actually, a job has recently landed in our lap and we are looking into it.  I won't discuss the potential ministry until/unless things are more definite. We are being patient this time, but it's hard!


Everyone is slowly getting healthy again. Cadence is pure entertainment for us all and Josh cut his hair! If you saw his hair about three weeks ago you would of thought, as a sixth grader told him, that he was Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. Continue to pray for us with some major decisions to make and life changes in the next five months!

Saveology

At MOPS today I was able to teach a small segment on couponing and I thought I would post what I talked about! Hope this helps some of you new couponers!


Budget
-Before you do anything make a budget
-Use cash only. When it is gone you are done!
-A good rule of thumb in setting a family grocery budget is $25 per person a week on all meals. (Example a family of four would have a $100 budget a week)

Where to get your coupons
-Sunday papers (buy at the dollar store)
- Coupons.com
- Couponnetwork.com
-Smartsource.com
-Redplum.com
- Facebook “Likes”
- Blogs have a great coupon database.
-happyhomemakercindy.com
-ingoodcents.com
-pennypinchinmom.com
cuckooforcoupondeals.com- has a great ABC's for couponers-Meijer mperks and mealbox
-All You magazine (subscribe or at Wal-mart only)
*make an email account just for coupons

Where to use coupons
-Meijer, Marsh (double up to .50) Walmart, CVS, Walgreens.
-Target (you can use a target coupon plus a manufacturer coupon on one item)


What no coupons??
-Wal-mart will price match an ad
-Shop the sales!!
-Don’t be brand loyal
-Aim for 50% off regular price (that can be sale plus coupon)
-Make a list before you leave! Stick to it, no impulse buying!

Kids!
- have them help clip coupons
-teach them how it is important to save money and have a budget

Good Price points
-Chicken 1.99 or less a lb
-Ground beef 2.89 or less a lb
-Milk 2.50 a gallon
-Eggs $1 a dozen
-Toilet paper .25 a roll
-Paper towels .50 a roll

Other great ways to save some cash!
-Water heater set to 120 degrees
-AC set at 78 degrees.
-turn ceiling fans off when you leave, fans cool people not rooms.
-Heater set at 68 degrees
-turn heat down when you leave for work or class.
-for  every degree you turn down you can save 1-3% on your bill
-Use a space heater only. You can save upto $1,000 a year
-Turn off the lights when you leave a room

-use compact fluorescent light bulbs. they use 75% less energy and last

           10x longer. You can see a $100 savings in a year.
-Use a crockpot once a week. Pre-heating a oven uses the most energy in your house.
-Pay your bills on time! Paying late can affect your credit.

Unemplyment = cooking at home!

I am to the point where I am truly having to cook at home every night. I do enjoy cooking but I was used to a couple meals at the campus house every week and meals at a restaurant once in a while with students, in other words i didn't have to cook but a couple times a week. The one thing I don't enjoy though is the same meals, nor do i desire to be in the kitchen for two hours trying to put together a meal, so I am now addicted to pinterest for recipes!

I thought I would share some of those recipes with you and what i thought about them. I will only put the ones I actually liked and those that made it into my recipe book! All of these can be found on my pinterest as well!

Now first I do want to mention how I do a meal plan, usually only a week at a time until recently. Both of my grocery stores recently had a wonderful sale on their meats so I stocked up (about a months worth). I went though my recipes before hand, went through my pantry and wrote down the things I still needed to make several meals. Two hours and $85 dollars later I had a month worth of meals!
First up is
Baked Chicken and Spinach Flautas
 These were my favorite thing I made this week...honestly my new favorite menu item! Mine actually looked that and tasted even better! Plus I made homemade salsa with it. Very easy and only 20 minutes in the oven.

Second one of the week was
Double Honey garlic chicken
This was my second favorite of the week. Though it has seven different spices in it, it made for a very interesting taste! Mine weren't real crunchy like the pictures, but it was a fun meal to make. Plus i only used half of the flour mix so i froze the rest for later.We served it over rice with a separate sauce, though they also made great sandwiches!

final suggestion of the week was Beef and Broccoli This meal is made in the crock pot and served over rice. Very easy as well. My sauce did not thicken up like the picture showed, but it was still really good. Eat it in a bowl!

"Never Once"

This song brought me to tears this week at church, but it was a true and wonderful reminder for me. I hope you enjoy it.

"Never Once"
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful


Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Through the tears

Yeah so I am kind of down. Depressed. Moody. Overwhelmed. I HATE the unknown. Not knowing how we are going to pay the bills next month. Not knowing where we might end up moving, let alone if we will even like it. Not knowing what we are going to do about our house. Not knowing what to do for a husband who has been hurt by people we trusted. Not knowing when the wait of wanting to be pregnant is over.

I need a ray of sunshine,  a light at the end of the tunnel. A glimpse of hope. Even better a peace about the unknown. I need laughter. Wow I am typing this through tears in my eyes. Oh the tears how I hate them. They come when I least expect them and they just frustrate me more. They don't wash away the pain, they don't bring back friends. But yet they come and they just make a mess of my makeup.

This evening we were reading to Cadence the story of Gideon (veggie tale style) and how he "tested" God. I kind of want to do that. Anybody have an extra piece of fleece? Through all the things God has asked of us recently the main thing has been to just trust. He is in control. We can handle unemployment. We can handle the disappointment of not being pregnant. We can handle the uncertainties of life. But we can't do it alone.

How I wish Christ was here on earth and he can just grab my hand and lead. I mean literally in the flesh be on earth. Don't get all theological or spiritual on me and tell me, "but he is with you". As a visual learner it would be easier to just see him. But he isn't anymore. He came once and will again someday and until that day I press forward. I do my best to follow him and do his will.

Thoughts of the past and for the future

The year 2012 is coming to end and what a year it has been! I am hoping for a new year filled with good surprise and adventures.

We started 2012 out with intense marriage counseling. We left Cadence with my parents for a week while Josh and I were able to just do life together for a week in Muncie and start with marriage counseling. Unfortunately January and Febuary were filled with lots of hurts and tears, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel. We were able to visit NJ in March where we got to take Cadence to the ER for the second time that year. This was the beginning of us finding out that he has asthma and we were going to have some long months ahead of us. April began with finding out Josh's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Having to watch her go through surgeries and chemo from long distance was hard on all of us.

In May, Josh and I got to go to Northern Ireland for two weeks with the Campus House. This trip was amazing. The sites were breathtaking and the people were fantastic and the memories will last for a lifetime. The summer brought lots of traveling, something like 70 hours in the car, family time, retreats, etc. August came around and the life of campus ministry was in full swing once again.

This last semester was tough on us. Feeling tired and frustrated, we had started wondering if it was time to leave the CH and do another kind of ministry. We thought we were thinking a year or so ahead but in November, the Board made that decision for us by letting Josh go unexpectedly. Thus we ended our year in NJ with family for Christmas and a time to think and pray about our future.

So it's kind of funny to read all of this and people might just think we have had a very depressing year and yeah it has been a rough year of changes and frustrations, but really it has been a great year as well. Josh and I are doing great as a couple, it is refreshing to think about how i am truly married to my best friend. And since we are doing well on the marriage front, it's helping with our parenting as well.

April 30th brought me a niece, Leia!! In October, Michele was done with chemo and is on her way (with a couple other surgeries) to being fully cancer free. We are blessed with a little boy who makes us laugh every day. We have family and friends that have taken care of us and loved on us these last eights weeks and really the whole year.

So what about 2013? Yeah I have wondered that as well. We have no idea what that brings. A new ministry? A new house in a new state? A new family member (don't get excited, nothing yet!)? I have no idea, I would love all of that. Only God knows. I do know that we'll take it one day at a time, together.