A Massive Casey Update

I got reminded by a student this month that I have not written in several months so here goes an update. I'll try to keep it as short as possible...

The last time I wrote was right before the morning sickness and exhaustion kicked in. Believe it or not, finding out I was pregnant was a little surprising to me. We had a scheduled doctor appointment with a fertility specialist for that Wednesday and we found out the Monday before. Because of how long it took us to get pregnant I was pretty paranoid during the first trimester so we waited till we heard a strong heartbeat before we told any family. After telling our parents, we were very excited to tell everyone else – of course I've been waiting for this day for a long time.

Cadence is very excited about the baby. He's been saying for months that he wants a "baby sister" so we'll see if that happens. Cadence loves to rub my tummy and ask if the baby can come "out for a couple four minutes". He's even thanked me for the baby, but we'll see what he says in five months!

As a three year old Cadence has been a struggle to discipline and get to bed. I think I would take the "twos" anytime! He does still say the funniest things and overly apologizes for everything... just the next day!

In other news, Campus House has been wonderful and crazy. We had a busy November with lots of activities and company in town most weekends. We got a nice Thanksgiving break in New Jersey which was filled with sleep, great talks and plenty of food. Coming back after break we only had a few weeks before the students left for Winter break. I have had lots of coffee with students and wonderful conversation about grace, forgiveness and the people we become after God allows bad things to happen. I truly love hearing the stories of the girls here. Everyone has a story... a beautiful story. And when we are willing to share that story we allow others to learn from us and get a glimpse of what God is capable of doing for us and in us.

So there are the Casey's in a nutshell!

A book review for Advent

Josh and I really wanted a book to read with Cadence for Advent and it's been almost impossible to find. So I finally got on Pinterest and searched for "Advent" I found this book:
Jesus the Storybook Bible

It was recommended because the first 25 stories go through the Old Testament and end with the Wise Men coming (when Jesus is two for all you who want it to be correct!). But what really caught my eye was the tagline for the book: "Every story whispers His Name." The stories are not shallow at all like many (most) children's Bibles. They explain the tough things in ways for little ones to understand. And then of course each story ends with how this all leads to Jesus coming and being our ultimate Rescuer.

I am super excited about this book and I want everyone to enjoy it too. Every time we get done with a story I always say "Man I love this book!" so even though we are only ten days from Christmas I encourage you to get this for your kids for the rest of the year and then read it for Advent next year.

Doing the Mundane

I am currently doing a study on Gideon and was surprised to see that the first thing we find Gideon doing is a boring, everyday-type chore when the Angel comes to him. So for the last week my thoughts have drifted to how many everyday, boring and mundane things I do.

We currently do not have a dishwasher in our house, so we're hand washing everything.
I HATE IT!!!

I have no problem loading and unloading the dishes from a dishwasher because at least a machine scrubbed and sanitized my dishes and not me, but I feel like I spend half my day now in front of a sink. Aside from the dishes, I do several loads of laundry every week, scrub toilets, and tell a three year old "NO" a hundred times a day. I do the same things day-in, day-out. And frankly, it gets boring.

When I think about all these things though I have to realize that this is what I wanted in life. I wanted to be a wife and then eventually a stay at home mom. Josh and I want to raise our children, not a day care (don't worry I'm not against working mothers at all!) I was called to be at home. I'm passionate about the benefits it can bring for Cadence. It's a financial risk we take, but I'm okay with that. I was called to do the dishes, pay the bills and do the grocery shopping. Weirdly enough these are strengths. Josh can do these things but would spend more money on groceries than me and would hate every minute of shopping.

I am a wife. I am a stay home mom. I am called to do the mundane. I am called to listen while doing the dishes.

What if God is talking to me and I can't hear him over my complaining? What if I am suppose to learn something while folding clothes? Though I struggle with always being at home I know without a doubt  that this is my place. Someday I may work outside the home again but until then this what i do... the mundane.

Life with a three year old!

Cadence turned three earlier this month and it was wonderful to have a birthday party and for him to actually understand what it was about! We took him to Incredible Pizza, Co. in Tulsa with some family, and, after eating about two bites he was off to the game room! After opening presents and requesting that we sing to him, he rode the go-karts with Daddy. He still talks about this day almost a month later.

3 months

For his birthday gift from us we decided that he didn't need toys (and Mimi had the clothes covered) so we wanted to make his room a "big boy" room. We transformed his room into a comic book! We filled it with art work (made by friends and family), new bedding and some small touches to show him that he was special! He thinks he still needs to show Nana and Mimi his new room every time we FaceTime.

1 year

Living with a three year old has been an adventure. We had the terrible-two's... bad. But that is also partially due to major life changes we had that year. Now as a 3 year old, we've talked with him about lying, respect, and please for your mother's sake will you hold your peepee down when you potty! He can be sneaky and hide while eating candy, he isn't completely potty-trained, and well, he likes the word "No"... a lot. He can have full conversations with you and tell you everything he did "lasterday". He enjoys helping with the dishes and cooking. He tortures the dog but then will play for hours outside with him. He loves the Campus House, puzzles, and talking on the phone.

2 years

We are looking forward to this next year with our big boy. Parenting is becoming more challenging but more rewarding as well. We are excited about the things he will say and surprise us with. Josh loves teaching him about sports and I love to get my snuggles first thing in the morning. Cadence Michael (or "Bob" as he says his middle name) is just a joy to have! We love him so much!

3 years

A life with Grace

 I have been thinking about my story, my journey in life. I have thought a lot about my marriage and the trials. I have thought a lot about telling my story, but just wonder if it is because I just want people to know or does God? My story is long. A story with heartache, disappointment but even more grace and redemption. Throughout those thoughts I have decided it is not time to share my story yet – don't worry it isn't because I'm chicken but because God has good and perfect timing. However, one thing I can talk about is one particular road I've been down... one road I've traveled a lot these last two years, and that is through my understanding of the definition of Grace.

As a good Christian girl I always knew about God's grace and that I should have grace, but did I truly know what Grace looks like? Do any of us know what Grace is capable of? Do we understand how all God's children are capable of giving grace to those who have hurt us? Do we understand how undeserving of it we are? This girl sure didn't.

The first time I truly heard about Grace was through a wonderful friend. She taught me what grace can look like. To be able to forgive angry exes – to forgive herself in her mistakes. To be able to tell her story firmly, strongly. A story filled with Grace.

If you read through the Old Testament you see God give Grace over and over again. Adam and Eve and the great fall. There were consequences for their sin, but he still loved them through it. He didn't abandon them. Isaac and stealing Esau's birthright. really stupid move but God did big things with him. David...yeah don't get me started on that one. Then we move into the New Testament and before Jesus died he told a disciple he would deny him three times, but he brought him back in later. And ultimately that day Christ was the gift of Grace. The gift that people of his day could touch, talk to and listen to. He died to forgive all human kind, all we have to do is accept His grace.

Those are a few stories from the Bible about Grace, but how come we can't show grace to those who hurt us, say stupid things, or make bad life choices. Why can't we show Grace to those who are just different then us, those who don't have the same theology as us?

"Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given" (John 1:16). Seriously God wants to give a double dose of Grace. Humanity messed up and then he sent His son to cover those sins with yet some more Grace. Mind blowing and life changing. 

Grace is hard, it sucks sometimes. Grace is forgiving. Grace is trusting. Grace is saying you are sorry. Grace is being Christ-like. Grace is loving the unloveable. 

I have a long quote that sums up Grace for me really well. It's from P. Tripp and the Campus House used it a lot previously, but brought it out again for today's message. This is going to be in our bedroom somewhere for me to see at all times. To remember that I have a story, a God story.

"Grace is a story and grace is a gift… It is God's character and your only hope. Grace is beautiful theology and a wonderful invitation. Grace is a lifelong experience and a life-changing calling. Graceful will turn your life upside down while giving you a rest that you have never known. Grace will require you to face your unworthiness without ever making  you feel unloved… it will make you finally acknowledge that you can never earn God's favor… It will once and for all remove your fear of not measuring up to his standards. Grace will humble you with the fact that you were much less than you thought you were, even as it assures you that you can be far more than you ever imagine. You can be sure that Grace will put you in your place without ever putting you down. Grace will enable you to face shocking truth about yourself that you have hesitated to consider, while freeing you from being self-consciously introspective. Grace will confront you with profound weaknesses and at the same time present you with new-found strength.  Grace will tell you again and again what you are not, while opening you again and again to what you can now be. Grace will make you as uncomfortable as you ever been, while offering you more lasting comforting you ever known. Grace will work to drive you to the end of yourself, while it invites you to a fresh start and fresh beginning. Grace will dash your ill-founded hopes, but will never walk away and leave you hopeless. Grace will decimate your own little kingdom of one, as introduces you too much, much better king. Grace will expose you to the extent of your blindness, as he gives your eyes what they desperately need to see. Grace will make you sadder than you have ever been, while at the same time giving you greater cause for celebration than you have ever known."

Sacred Marriage

When Josh and I were in marriage counseling we were asked to read a book called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. I read this book and LOVED it. Now mind you that was at least six years ago. But through the years we have recommended it to friends and family and I don't think anyone has taken us up on that. So I am hear six years later reading it again and I am telling you all that are engaged or been married for 25 plus years please read this book!

My poor friend Cailyn has heard me talk and talk about this book for the last month as I have been re-reading it. Every week Cailyn, Ashlen and I get together at DQ to just catch up and I think this book comes up every week for me on "What have I learned about God this week?" Guys seriously you have to read this!

Ok so here is what the book is about! "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" Yeah sit on that thought for a minute! The book really talks about how marriage is a selfless act. That we shouldn't consider marriage because we want to be happy but instead to be able to serve. He talks about marriages that have rocky spots and very rocky spots and how leaning on God and his love can show you more about yourself and your marriage then you can do on your own. here are a couple quotes from his book that pretty much made me cry! Really because I have been there and I truly wish I had re-read this book a couple years ago.

"Tell your (marital) story. Tell it to your kids, your friends, your brothers and sisters, but especially to each other. The more your story is implanted in your brain, the more it serves as a hedge against the myriad forces that seek to destroy your marriage. Make your story so familiar that is becomes part of the fabric of your being. It should become a legend that is shared through the generations as you grow a family tree and defies all odds and boasts marriage after marriage of stability and longevity."

"Every marriage has sorrows. There isn't a shared bedroom in this country where tension doesn't occasionally or perhaps frequently lift its snarling head. Many a pillow has been a solemn receptacle for soul felt tears, cried late at night or even all throughout the day. We don't get to choose which sorrows or trials we are called to bear, only that we must endure them."

"The challenge is not to keep on loving the person we thought we were marrying, but to love the person we marry."

"But true forgiveness is a process, not an event. It is rarely the case that we are able to forgive "one time" and the matter is settled. Far more often, we must relinquish our bitterness a dozen times or more, continually choosing to release the offender from our judgement."

I could keep going but then you should just read it for yourselves. I hope you get a chance to  look it over, he has several other books that i Intend to read this next year. 

"Forgiveness was something I could walk into." " Forgiveness doesn't imply or confer trust and it doesn't remove the pain." (it teaches obedience)

I could keep going but instead you should read the book! He has several other books that I intend to read this year. Enjoy

Stress

Have you ever really thought about what triggers stress for you? Or how stress affects your mind or body? Well I sure haven't... until the last couple weeks. My stress level these days is dramatically lower then it was nine months ago but I hadn't really really thought about how to control stress in my life and how it affects me. I figured that I handled stress just fine.

My stress was due to a rocky season in our marriage, job loss, unemployment, job searching, moving, and frustration with not being able to get pregnant. ... all at once. Compounded with a desire to care for people around me and I stopped paying attention to myself. By the end I kind of physically fell apart.

When we moved I was finally able to stop long enough to realize I was having some physical issues that needed to be addressed. There were signs a few months prior, but honestly with packing and moving I didn't really think anything of them. Physically, I was EXHAUSTED! I was taking 2-3 hour naps daily. My vision was blurry and I really noticed my weight gain. I had officially stressed my body out, and because my stress levels were gradually going down I was taking time to notice my body and all the weird things it was doing.

So last week I started reading a book my mom gave me on balancing your blood sugar which in the long run will help with energy, weight loss and hopefully taking inches from my waist. But honestly what I really hope for is to just feel beautiful again. To not avoid mirrors or the scale. To keep up with Cadence. And just maybe this is what my body needs to get pregnant. 

I am not a dieter. Never have been. I am not going all crazy with this book: literally reading a little at time and changing one meal at time (I eat six times a day with this new lifestyle). I am exercising again and trying new foods. I have my good days and I have my bad days. I eat at home more (unless of course my in-laws come in town!) and I am looking at new recipes. I have lost four pounds in the two weeks – a small step that I am excited about. I am seeing a little more energy and feel a little less shakiness between meals. Also, I am sleeping better (finally!).

It's crazy what stress can do to you. I got through the last year with God, my husband, my family, and my friends.
Now though, I need to take care of me. One day at a time.